Friday, April 01, 2005

Inner Peace

Came home today exhausted from the trials of this mortal existence. Today I took a little spill off a chair that I had no damn business standing on. An endless chorus regarding insects and paint on my clothing added to the annoyance of minor injury. Only my dignity was really hurt but the irritation was lasting.

As I limped my way through the door of my human abode, the bathtub upstairs crooned my name. As the steam filled the air I reminesced of long days spent atop my favorite mountain in the warm sun beside a misty waterfall. As I sank into the inviting waters, I noticed a bottle of bath oil on the shelf. Don't really know how it got there...maybe the faeries left it while I dreamed. Its golden label said, "Inner Peace." That's a lofty claim for a lowly bottle of bath solution. It got me thinking about all the things that would be great to pour from a bottle. Honestly, wouldn't you stand in line for a bottle of "Stop Conversation?" How about "Not Tonight, Dear, Don't Ask?" Better yet, "Traffic Begone." Since the makers of Inner Peace hit their mark with this potion, I propose we all create a list of suggestions for future products.



Blogger Ari said...

I myself would love some "Asshole Away" to sprinkle about the hallowed halls of my workplace.

No tellin' what kind of staffing needs would arise!

5:39 PM  
Blogger Tiamat said...

I think "Jerk Away" might be fitting... ;D

5:31 AM  
Blogger Azathoth said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog. As an old D&D player I love the Tiamat name you choose.
Seems to me like the bottle lived up to it's name. I guess even inanimate objects can have dreams of greatness.
If I could have any of those bottles I'd probably go for either "Less Stress" or "Idiot Shield". I do like the "Traffic be Gone" one too. Maybe they could do a "Heal Heartbreak" one? I have no doubt that would be a winner.

8:11 AM  

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