Friday, March 25, 2005

Stabbed Before Breakfast

You know it's going to be a bad day when you get stabbed before breakfast. Living in human skin requires the occassional submission to primitive "healing." I've never met a phlebotomist who had the sense to listen to the owner of the veins they're puncturing. "We appreciate your suggestions," they say, as they stab you wherever the fuck they please. Then they gawk as the veins collapse or roll away just as you predicted. What the fuck do I know about the body I'm living in? "Just sit down, shut up and tell me which finger you want me to stab." Since you're asking, I've got just the finger for you...

Really, humans, develop some better technology. Since you refuse to acknowledge the existence and relatively pain-free, instant cure of magic, you could at least come up with something less primitive than bleeding your victims. Next time you're ailing, I'll be happy to analyze your blood. Just stand still, shut up, and tell me where to bite. Your blood tastes fine to me.



Blogger Azathoth said...

HAH! I LIKE IT! In the end a lot of Doctoring is just guesswork in a white coat. But since I have no fancy degree to hang on my wall saying that I've studied the fact that we don't really know much about the human body, I guess I'll let them keep poking me with those damn needles.

7:35 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home